by admin on August 1st, 2011

Hi, y’all.

I don’t want to be alarmist or anything, but have any of you heard from Flint, lately? Just send me a message/feedback along the usual channels. I guess I’m stressing over nothing, but it sure would be a relief to hear that the big guy was still in touch.

Thanks, Cass Umtak

by admin on August 10th, 2011

Hello. Cass Umtak here, web master for There is still no news of the whereabouts of Flint Driscoll who, you will recall, went on a facility trip to Afghanistan several weeks ago. If any of you out there in the Flintosphere have any word of him, please let me know here. I’m sure that Flint is fine – he knows how to handle himself – but it is truly tragic that we do not have him to guide us through these dark and turbulent times. God bless you all. Cass.

by Flint Driscoll on August 11th, 2011

Please, give them anything they want. Signed: I, Flint Driscoll


Allahu akbar! God is greater than the enemy!  Having made his way under false pretenses to Ghulam Khan in Waziristan, the infidel in this photograph was heard to boast freely in the bazaar, the maidan, the hammam and the Starbucks that the infamous American murder attack in Abbottabad in May was a sham and a lie to boost the apostate Barack Hussein Obama, and that in truth our beloved leader and guide, Osama bin Laden, peace be upon him, is not dead, but is instead somewhere hidden in France! Clearly, only a high-level American/Zionist spy could have access to such top secret information about this evil conspiracy, and though he tried to change his story when our fighters apprehended him and questioned him,  it was too late by then for him to lie his way to safety.  We also found incontrovertible truth of the plot on two files on his computer, here, and here. Know this: if the beloved teacher Osama bin Laden is not returned to us safely and soon, this Godless American worm will pay with his vile head. Allahu akbar!

Personal message from Flint Driscoll:

Please for the love of God give these good and kind people everything they want. They have persuaded me to divulge the access passwords to my blog, twitter account, facebook page, and bank accounts, including the one which I am currently setting up with my new friend from Nigeria. They say that, armed with these codes, they are now in a position to launch a devastating cyber attack on Washington DC. Further demands and instructions will be posted here on this blog; I have obtained permission to help them with grammar and spell-checking, so as not to compromise the high standards you have come to expect of I must go now: they are hitting my typing fingers with a knotted rope. Flint Driscoll.

by admin on August 14th, 2011

Hello. Site administrator Cass Umtak here.

This is terrible, terrible news. Flint Driscoll has been abducted by Al Qaeda/Taliban elements and now faces death if we cannot find a way to save him. I am appealing to all readers of this blog to come together in a mass campaign to have him freed. I myself would be greatly honored to spearhead the effort to save this great man from the doom he now faces, doubtless with all the courage which we would expect from him. Unfortunately, I have just been recruited by some people sympathetic to the Bachmann campaign to help devise some viral attack strategies, so I won’t be able to do it. But if anyone else out there would like to step up for the big guy, contact me here at I’ll keep an eye on the site from time to time, work permitting.

God bless you all. Cass Umtak.

by Flint Driscoll on August 28th, 2011

From my window, I can see a garden… bright with flowers. Such lovely, gracile tulips… The Persians brought them here, with their poetry, and their light… It is Fall already in the high passes, and the smell of crisp poplar leaves melds with the wood-smoke on the fresh mountain air… Such simple graces. I feel I understand so much more now, insh’Allah. These people have taught me so much… And I too will have much to teach them.

I am moved by fancies that are curled
Around these images and cling,
The notion of some infinitely gentle,
Infinitely suffering thing.
Wipe your hand across your mouth and laugh:
The worlds revolve like ancient women,
Gathering fuel from vacant lots.

Death to the West! Slaughter all the pigs! Cut their throats and hang them by the heels! Allahu Akbar!

Cass, could you go by my house and check the mail box? Plus, I left a lot of dairy in the fridge, and it should be getting pretty gross by now.

Abdullah Mohammed Salah al’Din (Formerly, Flint Driscoll)