by Flint Driscoll on May 8th, 2011

It seems that the Apache tribe is now objecting to the use of the code name “Operation Geronimo” for the mission to track down and kill Osama Bin Laden. They think that it demeans them to have the name of an Apache leader used to represent a notorious enemy of the American way of life.

Two words for you, Apaches: Own it.

I, Flint Driscoll, am one half Comanche. My dear departed mother used to sing me what she said were Comanche war songs in the cradle, before she went away when I was seven. I used to tease her about it – she looked so much like my German-Irish Dad, and even had the same maiden name! – but she was proud of her pre-Columbian heritage. And so, to a point, am I.

But she was a Comanche. Who are these whining Apaches? I owe some thanks here to my friend KevinTheRed,  who is a staunch behind-the-scenes contributor to this blog, despite – or perhaps because of – having ended up in the penal system, due to a series of poor life choices. Kevin points out that the Apache are close cousins to the Navajo, who attempted to introduce not only communal farming to the proto-USA, but also matriarchy! And they tried to pull off this hippy crap in Texas and Arizona!

So what kind of people are these Apache/Navajo? Ethnology tells its own hard, cold story: the Apache and Navajo are distant and very isolated southern outliers of the Athabaskan language group. Dear reader: if you aren’t already shaking your head in silent contempt,  go look up the word “Athabaska” on the search engine of your choice. That’s right: the Athabaskan heartland is in the  north and west of Canada!

Geronimo: Canadian hippy

Apaches and Navajos: go back to Canada. Or Pakistan. Wherever you feel the more comfortable.

Whenever the USA does actually track down and kill Osama Bin Laden in France  – let’s say no more about the recent charade in Abbottabad – what name could be more appropriate for that operation than “Operation Geronimo?”